Autism – Being Tired all the Time and How to Increase Energy

By having high functioning autism (or Asperger’s) you will have less energy than most people when you are out in society.  This can easily be tested by thinking about how you feel when you are in your own personal space such as your bedroom or your home.  Against how you feel when you are in a crowded place such as a supermarket or party.  I know for me I have an almost unlimited amount of energy when I am in my bedroom and I can fully control my surroundings.  In fact, I see my bedroom as a place where I can recharge (so increase energy) from the loss of energy that is caused in the outside world.

When I first learnt I was high functioning autistic I looked for literature to help me in my quest for a greater understanding of my condition.  I turned to the Tony Attwood Guide to Asperger’s book and the best paragraph I read was: “if you are a parent, take your child with Asperger’s Syndrome to his or her bedroom and close the door behind you as you walk out the room.  The signs of Asperger’s Syndrome in your son or daughter have now disappeared.” Quite a powerful statement but in many ways true.

Why Having Autism Reduces Energy Levels

The first area that affects energy in someone with autism is sensory overload.  As we are so sensitive through all of our senses it is easy to become tired.  Sometimes our senses are overloaded without us realising, such as a few people talking which causes overload through hearing.  Or simply too much light causing visual overload from the sun or bright lighting in a room.  At the time we may not realise but over time these small things sap our energy bit by bit whilst everyone else is totally unaffected.

Secondly, having to think all the time in social situations and act to fit into society is also very tiring.  Normal people can talk to each other naturally, without thinking, but people with autism are always thinking about what has been said and the best way to respond.  Nothing is natural but we can get to the stage where we are so good at communicating it seems natural but it is still tiring.  Just having a conversation can be the hardest part of the day.

The third thing is, just to get through the day and fit in with society we are constantly playing back social situations that have happened that day.  Trying to work out where we made mistakes or how we could have said something better or different.  If we upset someone it upsets us.  So we try to understand what caused the upset so we can make it better.  If we can’t make it better we think about how we don’t repeat those actions or words again so we don’t hurt someone else the same way.  My brain is always active throughout the day which uses a great deal of energy.

Lastly, many people with autism like myself worry too much and have more anxiety than most people.  This anxiety can be from change that we don’t expect or being in difficult social situations.  We are always on the go as we get bored easily so find it almost impossible to just sit down and relax.  All of these things cause great tiredness and fatigue.

Unfortunately, many of these things cannot be prevented, as they are part of our condition, but some things can be done to help a bit.

How to increase energy or stop feeling tired?

  • Exercise more: this seems counter intuitive as exercise uses the most vital energy when you are feeling tired so will make you feel even more tired. The way the body works is that exercise will make your muscles stronger, your lungs and heart work better.  So after a while your body gets used to doing this extra work and doing your regular jobs becomes easier as your body is stronger and healthier.
  • Eat snacks when feeling tired: food is basically energy. So if you feel tired a snack will always give you a boost.  The more sugary the snack the quicker it gives you energy.  But the energy runs out quickly and then you feel more tired after an hour or two until you eat again.  That being said it is often better to have this quick boost from a sugary drink or snack if you are feeling very tired in-between meals such as a break time at work.  Modern thinking is to eat slow release energy food such as whole wheat or high protein foods such as meat to keep your energy higher for longer or eat little and often.  Obviously making sure you don’t overeat so that you keep a healthy weight as the more you weigh the harder it is to do every task in life so you require more energy which means eating more.
  • Giving up caffeinated drinks: I used to heavily rely on caffeine to get me through the day and genuinely believed it helped me to keep awake and alert.  After giving up all caffeinated drinks about eight months ago it has certainly helped me to feel more awake and energetic through the day.  I wake up without feeling groggy and feel less anxious.  This may not be suitable for everyone but it is worth considering.
  • Sleep well: sleep is very important as it is the time your body recovers and repairs itself. A minimum of 7 hours is needed but I always try for 8.  If I am down on my sleep, I will have occasional afternoon naps to get me back on track.
  • Reduce sensory overload: it is possible to reduce sensory overload by thinking about what causes it and put measures in place to reduce it. For example
    • Wearing sunglasses or a cap on a sunny day
    • Look for where there is sound overload and reduce it using measures such as wearing headphones in public places or walking away from busy and noisy areas if you have the opportunity
    • Going outside at break times or lunch time to eat alone at a park or in the car
    • Just having a walk to a local shop or having a drink in a quiet corner of a canteen
    • One that is probably the most obvious and used is staying in your bedroom when you are at home to rest your senses and brain from the overload you have received in the day
    • All these things help to reduce the senses being overloaded or help you to calm down if they have been bombarded throughout the day.
  • Diet: getting this right is the key to having the right amount of energy to get through the day. Eating the correct food at the right times massively improves your energy levels.  If you can get the balance of eating just the right amount for the energy you use you will keep a healthy weight.  This will make everyday tasks easy to achieve but if you overeat (which is far too easy to do these days) then you will eventually put on weight and everything will become even more difficult.  It really is worth studying this area and the right kind of foods to eat for energy if you are feeling tired all the time

You will often find that doing one of the above things such as exercising more will improve one of the other areas such as sleep, as your body needs more time to recover.  Or doing lots of exercise will improve your diet as your body often craves the food that it needs to repair such as lean meats.  Plus, you spend that much time and effort on exercising that you naturally don’t want to spoil your progress by eating the wrong foods.


Unfortunately, being autistic means your energy levels will be lower than the rest of the population.  There are steps you can take to help to increase your energy levels such as exercise, diet and good sleep.   But even doing all of these things right will probably put you on a par with a non-autistic person that does not do any of these things.  It is probably one of the biggest reasons why many autistic people find work and school life so difficult and find it harder than everyone to fit into society.  I try very hard in all of the areas I have discussed and meet nearly all these to a good or very good level but I still find life quite difficult.  Especially in the terms of having enough energy to get through the week.  I do manage though but luckily balance my life well by working part time and being a house husband the rest of the time.  I also have really good support from my wife which helps a great deal.

Please add a comment if you have got any other tips or tricks to helping your energy levels to help people like us succeed in life with autism.

30 thoughts on “Autism – Being Tired all the Time and How to Increase Energy

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  • April 12, 2017 at 4:08 am

    Yes Ive been wondering if my aspergers diagnosis (now just called autism spectrum here in the US) Could be why i cant seem to keep up with everyone else at work. Ive worked fast food, pizza delivery, retail stocking type jobs, currently at a dealership doing cleaning and detail work on cars. I just asked to switch from full to part time, to try to not waste peoples time. My heart beats fast and i always feel like i woke up too early. Every single day for the past 21 years. And im 21 years old. Dont know what to do. I cant ever go live on my own theres just no way. And im also not good at anything. Not at my job, no hobbies, just using my phone to watch youtube videos, tried doing things, didnt like it, sports, whatever. Some of my coworkers were like what do you do after work? I sit in the house watching internet videos. Why dont you go out and find a girlfriend or something they ask me?? Where would i go ? Im not super cute or anything nor am i rich. Girls just look at me and then keep walking. I look too young for my age, and my cheeks are chubby even though im skinny. Dont even want to talk about high school, middle school etc. I was the guy that was just there, But not really doing anything. I also suck at math, never played cardgames or boardgames, dont care about marvel/dc comics or anything, used to play cod and batlefield, now i just watch db xenoverse 2 gameplay, though i dont even have that game or a game console. Also watch haggard garage, tyler fialko, vehicle virgins, and car stuff. Though im bad with my hands and remembering where stuff goes , so pleaze dont suggest i become a mechanic. Dont have any idea what might do in life, except hop from job to job getting fired for working too slow (for their liking anyway) or arguing with co-workers when they keep putting on ghetto rap music on the radio and i dont want to listen to it, then they complain to the manager like a wuss. Well i probably wont do that anymore but still.

    • April 12, 2017 at 5:05 am

      Although it seems impossible to you now things will get better when time passes a bit and you get a bit older. You’ll almost certainly find a girlfriend, probably where you least expect. I had a really tough time in my late teens/early twenties but I was strong enough to turn things around and I’m really happy now. I look incredibly young for my age which used to be a bad thing but the older you get the more you want to look young and it becomes a good thing. Just keep trying and trying and you will get there.

    • September 25, 2018 at 3:56 pm

      My son who is just like you blew my mind when he went to truck driving school. He was always slow at things, not good with his hands etc. I even thought he mogjt het fired from grocery bagher job. I didnt think he could even pass. Well, he did. Now he does his day run jobs and doesnt have to socialize. So blown away.

      • September 25, 2018 at 4:44 pm

        That’s amazing Michelle! I am so pleased for your son to be able to do this. Being able to get paid work is a real challenge for us and it is a massive achievement that he has done so. All the best, Shaun.

        • August 19, 2020 at 10:49 am

          I never felt like I fitted in at school and went from job to job until I was 20, I then found a job that I truly love supporting people with learning disabilities and mental health issues, I never thought that I would meet a partner and at 25 I met my now wife,I’m 46 now and have my own home, looking back to when I was 15 and felt totally lost,I did not in my wildest dreams think that I would be where I’m at now,so my message to all the young people out there that feel lost is that if you put the extra effort in you can have a wonderful interesting life. I was lucky as I was not diagnosed with ASD until I was 42 so even though I new I was different to others I did not have an excuse to hold me back and just kept pushing forward,at times tripping at every hurdle but getting back up and brushing myself of and moving forward until the next full.

          • August 19, 2020 at 12:08 pm

            Well done for doing so well! It’s an inspiration to all of us that we can achieve the impossible and have a happy marriage, own a home and hold down a job. In my early 20s I never thought life was going to work out for me. I hit rock bottom and felt like I was in a situation I could never get out of. This pain and upset pushed me to change. I cut ties with my old life, job and friends. Absolutely everyone apart from my family, and started a fresh. Took a massive gamble and went to uni, which luckily went really well for me. It was tough but I knew I had to change all aspects of my life to succeed (which was pushing against my natural autistic tendencies). A year later I met my wife and we’ve been together since.

            I also work with people with learning difficulties and disabilities and find the job equally rewarding.

            Take care


    • January 9, 2019 at 2:52 pm

      You might want to get earplugs so other people’s music won’t bother you. And try not to be so down on yourself, you’re just reinforcing all these bad feelings. And somewhere out there is a girl on the spectrum who feels the way you do, even if you don’t end up in a romantic relationship you might make a friend. There are autism and Aspergers support groups and meet ups in many cities as well as chat groups. Find other autsies locally and it may help, we too can benefit from having a social group. But it helps if it consists of people (or a person) who is more like us. You just haven’t found what you’re good at yet but I bet there’s something. Go to a career counselor at your local community college, in fact you might want to enrol in classes, but if it’s overwhelming just take a couple at a time. And remember those ear plugs, or noise canceling headphones. There are ways for you to find purpose in life. Hope things get better for you.

    • August 17, 2023 at 9:52 pm

      I hope you are in a better place rn, we autistic people feel more. But you will find someone that will accept you, and understand our unique way to feel.

  • August 11, 2017 at 1:56 am

    My fiance is dealing with ASD and finds that she’s emotionally exhausted by the end of the work week. I prepare the meals and feel our diet is very healthy, and we’re both active people (just so long as no one else is around. Thus a lot of hiking is involved). Her hobbies that she had before she entered the working world now require more focus and devotion than she is capable of devoting to them, but she finds herself bored and restless during her down time because she wants to be doing something. Are there are any hobbies that people with ASD find helpful in retaining their attention and giving them a sense of achievement, ultimately for the sake of being restful?

    • August 11, 2017 at 7:03 am

      There are many hobbies/activities that can help with this restlessness which in turn will improve self esteem and a sense of achievement but some of these things do require commitment and can drain energy at times.

      One of the best things that you can do with your free time is education. In the past I have done a few courses that have helped further my career. The kind of course you could do could be anything from part time Maths, English, Web design, piano, sign language to something more involved such as part time degree level courses. It could be something that can further your career or just something that your interested in.

      Reading books is also a brilliant way to learn more. But one thing that most of us do is read the same type of book from the same genre. It is really good if you read different books you would not normally pick up as you learn the most from them. In the past I have read sociology book and found them incredibly useful at explaining the things I never really knew about modern society and how we all fit into it.

      Since writing this article I moved from doing exercise a couple of times a week (at best) to now exercising five to six times a week. Doing this as well as giving up caffeine and cutting back on sugar as improved my life immensely. I am hardly every tired. Even though the exercise takes up time and commitment I feel more energised and can do more than I ever did before. It has changed my outlook on many things where as before I would have been more cautious I now take more risks and try many new things. Exercise I do is weight lifting (which I recommend to males and females), cycling, badminton, walking and swimming.

      I would recommend asking your fiancée to perhaps cook a meal once or twice a week. Perhaps on her day off as it’s little things like cooking your own meal from scratch, it coming out successfully and then enjoying it together that helps to increase self esteem. If cooking is too much it could even be baking something one a week such as cookies, brownies or a cake that could also be a good hobby.

      There are many thing things to do out there but it’s always that first step that’s the most difficult take.

      All the best, Shaun

  • April 23, 2018 at 1:07 am

    @ “Boring” limiting caffeine (I do ok with diet coke but not well with coffee, also get the rapid heartbeat, if I have chocolate after already having had some diet coke and/or coffee, my heart races, it too has caffeine), and I also make sure to work my heart and lungs, as well as drinking plenty of water and sleeping a LOT. More than recommended, sometimes through the weekend after full-time work week.

  • December 6, 2018 at 8:42 pm

    I am 50 years , Asperger, been diagnosed half a year ago. 2 teenage sons, both Asperger+ADHD, the younger additionally has Diabetes I.
    My energy has been devastatingly low for years. Haven’t been able to work for more than 2 years.
    Just recently I started Sport shooting (air rifle). It’s the perfect sport for me. You have to find the perfect balance between relaxation and awareness. It gives me power, because I feel so passionate about it. And it’s a motivation for additional excercise, to be fit for shooting. Taking Part in competitions helps me overcome my social phobia.
    Additional excercise is Thae Bo, Yoga (perfect for autistst, I think), or just putting on the favoured radio station and dancing to fast Songs, stretching to slow Songs.
    Maybe something fits for you, too.

  • December 11, 2018 at 2:19 pm

    My son has a diagnosis of mild Asperger’s, but will not accept this. He presents nero typical and is socially comfortable, but it has been considered that he is not in touch with his emotions and has anxiety overload.
    From first week in secondary school until present; year 12 6th form, he has had an average of 1 day off per 2 weeks. A multitude of strategies have been tried but he is really only interested in a “magic bullet”. When he is off school “sick”, he sleeps through from 7am until 3pm, and then batteries recharged is right again. Is this a usual trait of Autism? I suffer with ME/CFS, and he has been tested, but a negative diagnosis. Also, he picks up a lot of viral infections, like me.
    The other concern is holding down a job. He has grand ideas about a top career and is looking at Apprenticeships in Finance. He should get good grades in A levels, but if exhausted and needing time off every 10 days-it wont be accepted.
    Any advice appreciated, thank you

    • December 11, 2018 at 6:01 pm

      I wish there was a way that this can be easily fixed but there is, as you suggested, no magic bullet in this type of situation. Many people with Asperger’s do really well at school, college and even university but transferring this into a high paid job is hard for us. I would never say it is impossible though and I am certain some of us do get there. When I first went into teaching I used to pick up every virus going but after a few years I built up tolerance to them and get them much less often now. I am also much fitter than I used to be, exercising five times a week, every week without fail. I believe this has also helped me to get less viruses and fight them off much more easily when I do get them. In the past, when I got viruses and bad colds about six times a year, I knew I could not have time off work that often so would have to go in. Even though I was feeling really bad. I still do go in to work now with everything apart from the flu. So your son might come to the same realisation that if he wants a good career he will have to work when feeling ill.

      Nearly everyone with Asperger’s/Autism needs some down time. But this can be done around work. Having a complete rest day at the weekend for example, where you just spend most of the day in your bedroom on your computer. Going up to your bedroom early after work and your evening meal and just resting by watching TV or playing commuter games etc. If I have had a challenging day at work I will sometimes even go to sleep about 8pm to fully recharge.

      Things like anxiety overload or sensory overload would certainly make him more tired, but over time he might realise this and find strategies to cope better. I think over time he will probably try things that are a bit too challenging (which is fine) then understand that he cannot do all the things he hoped in life so move his expectations a bit more in line with what he feels possible.

      I hope this helps a bit.


  • February 18, 2019 at 2:43 pm

    My partner was diagnosed with Asperger’s only a few years ago. We are still learning/struggling/deciphering each time something happens that causes adverse reactions, and trying our hardest to identify and lessen exposure to much sensory input, no mater what type it is.
    Understanding where that balance is between enough to be satisfied with what you’re achieving and doing too much is proving almost impossible to distinguish.
    She owns and runs a small retail business with a partner/friend, and she has worked extremely hard over the last 12 years to combat all the issues that she didn’t even know were linked to Autism. There is only the two of them, she has learned how to manage shop expectations on the day to day of meeting customers etc. On numerous occasions, many people have struggled to understand how she has managed to do what she has done; but this has only served to alienate her.
    In short, she has read books and watched TED talks. She even tried a group forum, but as she found these too anxiety provoking, and of little help. The GP passed her details to the larger borough for autism, and all they could offer were group anxiety courses.
    I’ve written in here today, because she is trying to do some small amount of work in between surges of demanding sleep, and full awareness. The strain of not being able to do what she wants pushes the feelings of low mood which only makes it harder to concentrate when she dos have energy.
    I suppose I am wondering is there is anyone out there who can relate to her situation this and offer any advice.
    Thank You

    • February 18, 2019 at 4:21 pm

      You partner seems to be doing a lot in life really well. She is working in her own business and managing these difficult day to day exchanges with customers. Along with reading the books and TED talks which is all positive. On a side note a few books I would really recommend that she reads is The Chimp Paradox, a book about NLP and a book about sociology. All of which helped me to understand the world we live in more, to think more positively and to deal with negative emotions, which have greatly increased my well-being and happiness.

      I am high functioning autistic/asperger’s and have to talk to people a lot in my job. It was so hard to do at first that I could only manage it part time. But gradually over the years I now do it full time along being a dad to two young children which is, of course, very demanding. It is still tough and sometimes I come home, do some exercise, eat my dinner, watch a little bit of TV then go to sleep really early at about 8:30 just to recover from the day’s events. I would say it is these interactions that are probably making her the most tired. In addition to probably relaying them in her mind to make sure she performed the best she could at the time. But like everything else, even with people like us who are autistic, you improve over time and become better at it. Which in turn will make it easier and less energy consuming.

      I did, and still do, find exercise the key to achieving more in life when you’re autistic. I have exercised five times a week (which is a bit excessive – three or four times is probably enough) for the past year and a half and before this I was exercise 3-4 times week. It seems counter intuitive but I find the more exercise you do, the stronger it makes you, and you find you have more energy to do the things in life you want to. It all can being with a small step such as one form of exercise (that is easy and enjoyable) once a week that develops into more.

      • February 18, 2019 at 4:41 pm

        Hi Shaun,
        Thank you so much for your encouraging advice and sentiment.
        We do try to exercise a couple or times a week (time and energy levels permitting).
        Sleeping is definitely a large issue, staying comfortable and at an even temperature. More frequently of late she has struggled with her mind bombarding her with questions/thoughts/revisiting moments of the day and posing questions for the next day, all this and often a single song playing over and over. On some occasions her mind will jump into this mode when she simply turns over on the night, not really waking up entirely but it starts this part of her mind off.
        Is this very common, and how do people resolve it. If she sleeps too much during the day, this might affect her again tonight when she will be hoping to get back into a regular sleep pattern?

        • March 2, 2019 at 5:05 pm

          I often wake up like this during the night like this and it can set my mind off. The only real way I can offload these things is to keep a computerised diary where I simply write down everything that is on my mind. I would really recommend this as it has helped me so much in the past year. I wrote a blog post about doing this a few years ago on this webpage I find that an occasional power nap is fine, such as one hour once a week, but anything more than will mean I cannot sleep properly in the night, so I do try to avoid them mostly. I also find that if I have a power nap once I will feel really tired the same time the next day. Which means I avoid having one if I know I will be at work the next day at that particular time.

      • May 28, 2021 at 7:24 pm

        My boyfriend is Aspie it affects my communication to him I feel hurt his parents hate me I have no support can someone help

        • May 29, 2021 at 7:02 am

          Communication can be difficult with us Aspies, and even more so when we are tired. I tend to talk much less when I am overworked, and just want to relax, as it takes so much effort. I need that downtime to try and process what has happened throughout the day and make sense of it all.

          But I do still talk to my wife and family quite a lot. But, and this is going to sound a bit weird, being able to talk took me a lot of practise and conscious effort in my early adulthood.

          I suppose it is just trying to find the right time such as the weekends. I certainly would not take it personally. It is just more difficult for us. I would certainly let him know, in a gentle way, how you feel and I am sure he realises that you are more important to him than everything else, that is in his life which is wearing him down. Change does take time but I am sure if you let him know he will put the effort in.

  • March 28, 2019 at 2:01 pm

    Thank you for writing this. I’ve been looking for resources to help my 15yo aspie son. He comes home from school and is wiped out – there’s nothing left in him for homework or anything else. I believe he’s depressed as well. I will give him this article in the hopes that he will take your advice to heart.

    • May 8, 2019 at 6:47 pm

      You are very welcome

    • June 9, 2019 at 9:11 pm

      Hello Jacqueline,

      The best advice I could give your son is ‘to own his own feelings’. Accept his feelings (how he feels physically and mentally) with a clear mind and no selfjudgement. He will feel terrible a lot of the time but accept these feelings as his life experience. To feel depressed a lot of the time for someone with Aspergers is natural. To be depressed about feeling depressed is not natural, (it is a choice of the mind) which leads to a fast downward spiral of pure hellish feelings. Owning your feelings is totally accepting how bad you feel and trying to have thoughts and actions that totally keep your spirits up as much as possible. For example your son might find that to keep his spirits up it is best for him to spend much of his free time alone. This is not easy, at 15 years old there is so much pressure for kids to have friends and support class mates etc etc. Such pressures of society. But if your son owns his feelings your son can break through such society pressures and be totally relaxed and focused on spending time alone. Of course being properly alone is a frightening prospect at first but will become easier and ultimately is the only way to gain selfknowledge. Hope this strikes a cord, feel free to respond. I am a 46 year old aspie who remembers his school days like yesterday.

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  • October 12, 2020 at 9:14 am

    I´m women whit Asperger. My ways to live whit fatigue and anxiety are mindfulness and meditation. I was in work where I need to be very social and work hours was difficult to understand. Some times my day was 12 hours long or longer. It was one of my special intrest so it gets me a boost but the very social environment drain me a lot. But when I start to meditate once and a while I get some energy boost and slow my stress levels a lot. (Sorry my english, its not my first langue.)

    The nother way to relax and get some my time and increase some energy is to liv my live whit the mindfulness thinking. I walk a lot and looks after all the beaty a round me. All the things a round me have extra ordinary small details and I took them to my observation and whit them I allmoust every time can put me back an the track and it gives me to focus back an the situation and places where I am. I had to have to learn to be in touch in my inner me so I could recognize to my inner feelings and it is helped me to be more aware.

    All your examples are very good ways to keep Asperger people in track. These thing helps me a lot too. Caffe is my weakness and I am working whit it.

  • March 15, 2022 at 3:55 pm

    Strangely enough, I never noticed that I was feeling particularly more exhausted than my peers prior to Lockdown. I’d always been a fairly active person before that despite my Autism diagnosis.
    If I became overloaded in extreme cases then it could lead to meltdowns if I didn’t get back to my personal space and relax for a few hours, but, since Lockdown ended I have found that I get tired really quickly, and my stamina is ridiculously low.

    The energy I previously had was built through years of an active social life and hard work while I was at school and university, but over the last 2 years all that stamina I took for granted has vanished, and I’m no longer in a position in life where I can easily reengage with things like class or large groups to attempt to rebuild it.

    I’m doing my best, but it feels like 2 years have undone a lifetime’s worth of work.

    • March 20, 2023 at 1:38 am

      I understand this on a very deep level. Baby steppin is still forward motion. Be kind to yourself. You’re not alone.

  • June 12, 2023 at 2:32 pm

    A couple of things that have helped me considerably:
    – pay attention to hydration, I seem to transpire more than other people and notice that when I’ve become just slightly dehydrated I seem to “zone out” from a lot of things needing doing;
    – avoid sugar and “fast” carbohydrates as much as possible, the sugar spike leaves me feeling considerably depleted afterwards;
    – avoid alcohol, which places enormous stress on the body ,which then translates to tiredness and brain fog for the next day or two;
    – cook your own food from basic ingredients as much as possible, avoiding pre-cooked/preprocessed meals

  • June 28, 2023 at 8:19 am

    I am in a fairly new relationship (coming up a year ) with a man in his 50s with Aspergers. He has developed so many coping strategies most people would not notice he is neurodiverse at all. However, we are starting to struggle in our relationship a bit because he will shut down with very little or no notice or trigger and it really hurts me. I have tried to speak to him about it but he doesnt recognise he is doing it. He goes from being so warm loving and affectionate and fun and outgoing to cold distant and well just shut off its really tough.
    How can i deal with this? I absolutely adore him and i am certain it is because of his aspergers and probably because he is tired and overloaded……


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